The Main Reason I Didn’t Leave a Forwarding Address

Brad Rose

Since I got an ‘A’ on my Turing test, it doesn’t bother me that I can’t hear my hair growing at night. Of course, I enjoyed the helicopter ride and the dog sledding, but the problem with my dead relatives is that they are still alive. There’s something je ne sais quoi about their persistent yodeling, but, like a phantom limb, I can’t quite put my finger on it. My physician says as soon as I get better, it’ll be OK to pawn my invisibility cloak. He says I shouldn’t be bashful; everyone has a body beneath their clothes. I wanted to ask him, What use is a fire escape without a fire? but, I can tell you, naked or nude, he’s not the kind of person who likes to take turns missing the boat. Of course, like Pa always said, it’s not polite to scratch your itchy trigger finger in public. Don’t bother coming back till you’re dead.


Brad Rose was born and raised in Los Angeles and lives in Boston. He is the author of a collection of poetry and flash fiction, Pink X-Ray (Big Table Publishing, 2015) His new book of poems, Momentary Turbulence, is forthcoming from Cervena Barva Press. Brad is also the author of five chapbooks of poetry and flash fiction, An Evil Twin is Always in Good Company, Democracy of Secrets, Coyotes Circle the Party Store, Dancing School Nerves and Away with Words. Twice nominated for a Pushcart Prize, Brad’s poetry and fiction have appeared in The American Journal of Poetry, The Los Angeles Times, The Potomac, Folio, decomP, Lunch Ticket, The Baltimore Review, Posit, Right Hand Pointing and many other publications.

Comments

  1. Terrific. What a ride!

  2. Gita Maritzer Smith says:

    What fun! And your voice is not at all what I imagined.

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